Drifting

Last weekend I went on a Retreat to the beach. This is my fifth year going and something profound always takes place there, although I don’t ever realize it until afterwards. It’s like there’s an intensive intake and it takes a week or so for it to relax and reveal all the goodness contained there. I was overwhelmed while I was there by so much good stuff. But what was the most moving for me was the beach.

The ocean moves me. Always. There’s no question about that. It’s confirmation to me that there is something so much larger than me in control. When the tide comes in, I must move or it will take me with it. There’s no messin’ around. It just is. Water always comforts me, as well, but this time I couldn’t see much of the water. There was a giant foggy cloud that hovered over the water that pretty much concealed the ocean for the entire weekend. There was one small break where I could see a faint shadow of the water, but it was not clear. Althought I couldn’t see it, I could hear it and know that it was still there. Kinda like God sometimes…He always is there, whether we feel or see Him or not.

At this particular beach, I was inspired by the scenery on the shore. Every year the scenery is different. It changes constantly. This year it was full of driftwood. Big driftwood. Little driftwood. All kinds of driftwood. I love driftwood for some reason, but it brought to mind the driftiness of who we are. God picks us up and moves us at His will whenever and wherever He wants in order to fulfill the purpose He has for us. It looks as though this driftwood on this particular beach has been here for all time, but having collected four previous years’ pictures of it, I know this is not true. At any given time, a glimpse of what is, may seem as though it always was. But next year at this time, everything will be different. Nothing stays the same. All this driftwood will be lifted up, taken back out to sea, and deposited on another beach for another place and time. Some may stay afloat for a long time before landing. For now, it was deposited on this beach for me to find comfort in His movement. That not matter where He plants me, it will appear permanent and comfortable. Until He finds it necessary to move on.

I’m feel as though I’m on the cusp of a large movement in my life. I have no idea what it is about, but I feel it coming. Like the swell of a wave, the anticipation grows and swells and lifts…until the crest is reached and the wave breaks…there’s a breakthrough…and then it evens out. Until the next wave. I sit and wonder where I will land when this wave crashes to the shore. Just as it is impossible to catch the wind or redirect the ocean, I must wait and ride it out, until He places me where He wants me. I’m sure there are things that will be left behind. Some things found anew. Discovered. Rediscovered. Growth. Death. Happiness. Sadness. Trepidation. Gladness. Doubt. Concern. Peace. Joy. I have an inner peace within me today that knows that no matter what He has in store or where He takes me, that no matter what decisions I will have to make or things left behind…He will always be.

It brings to mind the following scripture that we discussed at church this morning…

A Time for Everything
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8