Hurting People Hurt People

I’ve heard several people speak from their brokenness the past couple of days and I’ve been pondering how we survive and shine in spite of that brokenness. I am very broken. I admit it. I bleed out all over this blog. What I find somewhat contrary to expectation is the freedom I have found in bleeding. The junk comes out…it doesn’t stay bottled up inside me, poisoning over and over again the life force that keeps me alive. One would think bleeding out would empty one of life. But when we receive the blood of the lamb, the flow never stops. So long as our heart beats, He is there pouring more of Himself into us.

We are a broken world. A broken community. A broken people. Broken from the beginning of time. We have learned from the beginning how to hide. The entire existence of the world and its people has evidenced hiding, back to Adam and Eve, when they fell and felt ashamed and suddently felt like they needed to hide; to cover themselves up because of this shame. And so it seems since the beginning of time, we have tried to find who we are; how to fix ourselves; and how to escape or avoid breaking even further. How do we find ourselves…how do we find anything when we are only partially exposed? In the process of our pursuit of self, we come to a realization that there is no escape. We are all broken shards of glass – of a mirror – that can never be put back together as perfectly as we were before we were shattered. The magical thing about being a mirror is that even though shattered, it still carries a reflection. We were all created in the image of God. Even in our brokenness, we are a reflection of God. Perfect and beautiful in His sight. And He loves us with an everlasting love. Our jagged edges do nothing to keep His love from being true and real and complete. We are complete, in Him. And this is where we find the core and complete picture of who we are.

In the mean while, in this existence, we are in contact with the rest of the planet’s broken people. If we pick up the wrong piece of broken glass, we may get cut. We hurt. That broken piece of a person hurt, and they may not have even known they did it. That is the saddest truth to face for me, in this life. That people hurt us and sometimes they just don’t know it! Other times individuals do realize that they hurt others; they have done so with purpose. If others have cut us so badly and we get frustrated, we decide that we’re going to go about doing some cutting ourselves because it stinks always being the one cut. For a minute there may be a hint of satisfaction that I’m not always the one on the receiving end. And the cycle goes around and around and around. Hurting people hurt people. It always is and always will be.

How do we survive the madness? How do we stop being cut and how do we stop hurting others without realizing it? Some may think cutting themselves off from all of humanity is the answer. If we’re not around anyone, we can’t be hurt. But this is not the answer. Then we just wither up and die. Because we are the image and vessels of God’s creation, even in our broken state, we still serve the purpose of reflecting pieces of who He is. When we are not in fellowship with others, we cannot see Him. And so it seems a double edged sword…fellowship with broken people cuts us and fills us up at the same time. How do we survive, let alone thrive in the midst of this dichotomy? How is it possible to live in this perpetual state of love and pain?

We choose love. Concsiously and purposefully. God loves us this way. And we forgive those who hurt without knowing that they are. We can choose to step away from those whose pursuit is purposeful, vengeful hurting, but we can still love them by praying for them and offering them love that they very likely don’t feel they deserve. Love is an amazing thing…it can penetrate and heal the deepest of wounds. Love chips away at the hard exterior and finds its way to the soft squishy interior that has been buried for so long that it can’t remember the last time it saw the light of day. Love is action. Love is purposeful. Love is a conscious decision. Love heals. Love reveals. Love builds and restores.

How do we find our way out of the hurt into the light of love? We can first admit that we are broken. We don’t have it all together. And its okay if we never do. Acceptance. Surrender.

This song from Sanctus Real is a great window to peak into this form of surrender. It speaks of acceptance of where we are, and the freedom to let go.

Sanctus Real – I’m Not Alright

If weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of
Then “cool” is just how far we have to fall
I am not immuned, I only want to be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall

Can I lose my need to impress?
If you want the truth I need to confess

I’m not alright, I’m broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to you

Burn away the pride
Bring me to my weakness
Until everything I hide behind is gone
And when I’m open wide with nothing left to cling to
Only you are there to lead me on.

‘Cause honestly, I’m not that strong.

I’m not alright, I’m broken inside
Broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to you
Leads me to you
Closer to you
Closer to you
Closer to you

I’m not alright I’m broken inside
Broken inside
I’m broken inside, Broken inside
And all I go through leads me to you
Leads me to you

I’m not alright, I’m not alright
I’m not alright … that’s why I need you.

An interesting perspective to contemplate as well…that we are actually whole, even though our reflection is broken. If we drop a mirror on the ground and bend down to pick it up, what we see is a whole self, reflected in a broken mirror. We are not broken because the mirror fell. Our brokenness is the reflection from a broken world. But we, created in the image of God, are whole and complete.

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